2013 November

Aparigraha is letting go of the past

There is a word in yoga called ‘aparigraha’, which means non attachment or non grasping.  Really it’s about letting go.  It’s one of the hardest lessons to learn, particularly when it’s related to our longing for a child.

I’d love to say that from the beginning of our fertility journey I summonsed all my yogic skills and managed to let go of these thoughts of attachment. But I didn’t. I was holding on so tight I could barely breathe. And  I was in shock.  How could this happen to me?  What did I do wrong?  I partied too hard, I waited too long…the list of blame goes on and on.  

It wasn’t until I gave up my stressful job and went back to college and studied yoga full time for a year that I really started to look at how I was acting.  I was in a cycle and I couldn’t find a way to get out of it. By practicing yoga regularly and using some really simple stress relief techniques I was able to find some calm, balance the body and replace some of the negative emotions I was feeling with positive thoughts. My wish for a child was still there but this extreme holding on ‘attachment’ was lessened.  

Some of us go through these extremes of emotions, highs and lows, hope and despair – it’s exhausting.  I believe yoga can help to balance that out, so our feelings aren’t so extreme.  When we are balanced we tend to make better decisions, we look at things in a more rounded way.  Our hold is lessened and slowly, slowly, we are able to let go.


Question, explore, discover – Don’t sit back

Are you speaking to lots of different people (naturopaths, acupuncturists, phycologists, nutritionists, IVF doctors, herbalists) who might be able to help you successfully conceive?

I wish I had explored and questioned more, rather than leaving it in my doctors hands for so long and expecting them to ‘cure me’.  The difficulty is that you think that if you’ve been with one doctor for some time that they know you.  They know your history, how your body works. I was reticent to try something new and kept on doing the same treatments and expecting a different outcome.  Madness! I honestly think I wasted 2 fertile years.  Such a great (but hard) lesson to learn.  

My message now is, get out there, explore, question, discover.  Speak to different clinics, doctors, specialists.  Don’t sit back and be passive. Remember you don’t have to ‘do’ anything, just inquire and start a conversation you never know what might happen…


Fertility foods to help you conceive

I changed so many things when I was trying to fall pregnant…cut out alcohol and caffeine, practiced my yoga and relaxation techniques, took herbs, DHEA, vits, did weekly, acupuncture, reduced stress where possible the list goes on and on. One of the last things I looked at was diet. I know it sounds crazy but I was so focused on everything else that I sort of missed it, and good nutrition is so important when you’re trying to conceive.

Have a read of this interesting article, on what is recommended to eat for fertility. If you’d like to speak to a nutritionist then have a look at my friends page to see who I’d recommend.


Stress relief breathing – one easy tip

What happens to you when you are in a stressful situation? I remember going into meetings with my doctor, coming out and not being able to remember what was said. Thank goodness my husband was there, my mind was completely blank.  Can you relate?

When we are in ‘flight or flight’ mode, this often happens.  All the blood flows from our heads and torso to our hands and our feet – responding to thousands of years of genetics which enabled us to run from wooly mammoths and sabre tooth tigers. When we consciously breathe from our belly we reverse this reaction by turning on our ‘rest and digest’ response.  Try this:

Simple stress relief breathing tip:

Next time you know you are going into a stressful situation see if you can calm things down before you get there (eg. in the cab on the way or in the waiting room). Close your eyes, take deep breaths from the belly, through the nose. Breathe in 10, and out 10, in 9 out 9 etc. and count slowly down from 10-1. You can do this at night too before you go to sleep if the mind is very active.



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